Our new routine

Today, we got a visit from a home health nurse which was largely pointless but for the fact that she weighed Lela and we learned that Lela passed the 4 pound mark! Barely, but still. I didn't mention that I had just fed her, which may have added that additional ounce. Then, the home health nurse sexually assaulted me in my own living room under the guise of watching the baby breastfeed. I won't go into details here, but suffice it to say that I felt violated.

I've been trying to think of an interesting blog post for the day, but I don't have much to write about. My schedule has shrunk down to 3 hour cycles: Prepare bottle; wake Lela; change diaper and possibly clothes; try to breast feed; give up on breastfeeding and give her milk in bottle; burp and rock for a while; prop Lela on the boppy on my knees so I can pump more milk for her next meal; wash bottle and breast pump parts; rest 1.5-2 hours and start again. This is somewhat fascinating to me, but probably not so much to the average reader.

I have learned some things about Lela in the last 24 hours of alone time. For example, she has super-human arm strength. She really likes her hands up by her face and she can break free of the tightest swaddle. She even worms out of the Miracle Blanket! Also, she sleeps much better while being held than she does on her own in the crib, where she snorts and grunts and makes these very constipated-type movements. It makes sense, though - technically she is still supposed to be inside me, so I can understand why she takes comfort in my body heat and heart beat and breathing. I think she's getting a bit of reflux (common preemie problem) so we need to hold her upright for at least 30-45 minutes after each feeding. Of course, this makes my day a little difficult since I can't put her down. But, I feel like this is probably the best thing I can do for her right now - feed her, comfort her, hold her and watch her grow. I have figured out how to do many things one-handed.

Poor Babak went to work at 4:00 am and didn't get home until after 10:00 pm. Remember how I mentioned that his early release on Monday was an unprecedented act of kindness? Kindness is no longer on the table. This schedule basically leaves me as a single parent and Babak as a jilted father. Fortunately, next month will be better...we just have to make it through August.

Tomorrow, we have our first pediatrician visit. I'm so nervous about driving Lela by myself. She's far too small for our car seat and I can't obsess over her breath rate and the angle of her chin and windpipe if I am forced to ride in the drivers seat instead of right by her side! It's times like these that I could really use a glass of wine - of course, that may be a little counter-productive in this case. Wish us luck!

(Sorry, no pictures tonight. I'll post extra tomorrow to make up for it)